Tired of this shit.
Tired of petty-minded morons.
Tired of really stupid people.
Tired of arrogant arseholes.
Tired of those who think they know better.
Tired of people who have nothing better to do with there lives than moan to other people. (This moan doesn't count of course, lol!)
I place a curse on all those arrogant, moronic, mindless bastards who hang-up!!!!!!!!!!!!
Audrey C., thinks it's a rip-off. I think she's a C***. She's wrong. I'm right.
T.Gomer in far-flung hippie-dom is as dumb as his name sounds.
How many SOB's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Juan.
Han Tran the Cancelling Man! Total fucking retard.
Rick in Titusville is an EVIL U.S. TIT going to L.
V.V.V.V. - Vile Violette (from) Virginia (Beach in) Virginia.
I love (NOT!) talking to Vietnamese in Texas, like TAN and TON and TEN and TIN.
William needs to think about it. I called him a prick but he still needs to think about it. I then called him a total fucking tossing loser but he still needs to think about it!
Dearest Tenzin L ..... the absolute fucking cheek of you!
YOU, of all fucking people, ask ME if I'm in England. Did I ask YOU if you were in FUCKING CHINA YOU INSULTING CUNT!!!!
If a customer needs to pray about it first .... do you really think they're going to call back?? HELL NO!!!
Customer: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no .... CLICK! Me: You could have fucked off on the 3rd "no", stupid arse!!!!!!!
Would you want to live in Looneyville in WV??
"You people" ... cheeky bitch!
"Fabulous, fabolous accent!"
I'm NOT your "darling", or your "love" and I'm NOT from Ireland/Scotland/Europe/Canada! Dumb fuckers!
Customer: "It's good to hear a good American voice..." Me: "Huh?? WTF!!!"
I'm not your "HUN", do I sound fecking German?
Play-on-words:
"WRITE-UP:" WankersReallyIrritateTSA'sEverytime-UsuallyPurposely!
The Alphabet of Groans:
C: CanadianC****Can'tComprehendCannyConcepts!
N: NumbnutsNeedNotNarrateNastinessNeedlessly!!
M: MexicansMeansMyMentalMoodMakesMorbidMeanderings!!!
F: FeckersFromFloridaFinkFreeFalsely!!!!
A: Arseholes-are-around-about-America-aiming-apparently-(to)-anger-Anglosaxons!!!!
P: Pricks-(n)-pillocks-please-prevent-personal-phonecalls-plowing-precariously-past-preventative-protocols-protecting-pleasant-(n)-perfect-professional-phone-peeps!!
C: Cretins-can-call-'cuz-collectively-callers-can-create-chaos!!
T: Tits-(n)-twits-tell-tall-tales-trying-to-talk-TSA's-(in)to-trading-trashy-things!!
P: Poor-peasants-place-phonecalls-perhaps-potentially-placing-pressure-(on)-professionals-patience!
P: Petulant-pricks-prevent-preferred-performance-probably-permanently!
A: Angry-arrogant-arseholes-acquire-abundant-abuse-arguably-arising-(from)-American-abodes.
I: Idiots-inside-Illonois-irritate-intensely-impacting-immediate-impressions!
C: Crazy-Californians-cause-constant-chaos-collectively!
N: Nobheads-need-not-negotiate-needlessly!
S: Stupid-souls-seek-s****-s****-s****-so-secure-storage-solutions-seem-safely-solved-since-said-s****-still-sell-superbly!
C: Chinks-collectivly-cause-chaos-considering-Chinks-can't-consider-costs!
F: Fools-fall-fast-following-free-fuckups!
F: Freaks-from-Florida-fee-free-(to)-fuckoff!!
Good American Names (with the odd silly but real one thrown in too):
(First of all .... Cleetis for a woman? Really?)
* Zenon Szymczyk
* Shyam Gianchandani
* August Blomquist
* Jua Her
* Kristmas Blossom
* Anna Tanner
* Elizeu Silva
* Bob Rodriguez
* Hasmukh Patel
* Erick Jara
* Winston Ghany
* Teodor Szewczuk
* Lat Dia
* Carrie Buttery
* Nina Sheveleva
* Boris Tonkonog
* Abdul Matin
* Luidmila Yakimoga
* Lynnen L. Lambert
* Dalouny Phommachakr
* Nettie Yazzie
* Raymond FART-orius
* Winter Trombley
* Kathleen Cruz
* Mona Bumbico
* Ronnie Yoe
* Jun Tang
* Shreeti Kapoor
* Pat Przybysz
* Lloyd L. Loy & Lawrence L. Lum
* Jaquidon Kruger
* Ned Sookhu
* Tearless Snow
* Arul Jagadeesan
* Mayur Patel
* Boyd Arp
* Huitt Reap
* Amit Vora
* Coy Crisp
* Irma & Ariel Muno
* Ping He
* Irfan Jani
* Chiam Neeroula
* Tosh Ishihara
* J. Sprecacenere
* Michelle Feucht
* A.Smokey-George
* Sing Hui
* Ataloa Runsabove
* Tina Naff
* Kazi Jalali
* Roy Patel and Melvin Lopez
* Fay Chin
* Ark Vish
* Dan Cupp
* Wai Chui
* Jim Kim
* Awale Awale
* Khalfani Ayela
* Babu Sidhu
* Zaoli Shen
* Qun Fang
* May Moon
* Dung Le
* Bill Buck
* Huong Ho
* Kay Kallas
* Mohammed Aqrabawi
* Kochu Geevarghese
* Stoney Bilbo
* Gail Loo
* Ebuwa Fidelis
* Shandel Frith
* Daiva Bulizz
* Seynabou Diop
* Liduvina Santos
* Anshul Singhui
* Arash Bahari
* Omar Jallow
* Phick Ng
* Arnt Vagle
* Goy Williams
* Sai Raja
* Boni Pua
* Xiomaia Suarez.
* Ssang Gebelein
* Basdeo Boodhoo
* Ashenafi Tessema
* Sai Nidadavolu
* Moo Lee
* Abhay Goal * Manho Chan
* Nafisa Syed
Incident #1
Guy calls, he said his name is "TRIMBLE as in 'shake'" and then he stated that people get his name wrong a lot. Wellllllllll, no fucking wonder dipstick!
What the fuck has "trimble" got to do with "shake"? Tremble yes, but not Trimble.
Moron!
Incident #2
A guy called.
Obviously not happy.
He said and I quote:
"I want to speak to an American..."
My response should have been: FUCK OFF AND SHRIVEL UP ASSHOLE .... or in this case ARSEHOLE!!
(I xferred him to a Spanish speaker!)
Incident #3
To that BITCH FROM HEIDLEBERG ... fuck off and die you old miserable twat!
When somebody is attempting to help you (if only you would shut the fuck up) please give them at least half-a-chance to fucking well do so. I couldn't give a flying fuck what your credentials are, where you're from or as a result of this call if you're even fucking breathing. You should not be allowed to use the phone period. FUCK OFF CUNT!!
Twelve Rules for Keeping me Effin Sane:
01. You know, at the very least, it ain't completely free so have your effin c/card ready!
02. Be nice! We are NOT the effin enemy (despite what you think)
03. Spear clear and concise English (if you can't, fuck off!)
04. Don't be a dick! Or dick'ess!
05. Don't call if you're working the till, or checking out of the supermarket or gas-station, or at the doctors office!!!
06. Call when the kids are at school or asleep! And the dogs are outside!
07. On The Metro? Don't effin call!!!!!
08. If you can't make a decision without your spouse holding your hand (i.e. no balls), don't call!
09. It makes no difference if you're retired, an ex-teacher, won the Battle of the Bulge single-handedly, a single-parent, or whatever other criteria you can think of .... if you're calling me YOU are all the same!!! No special privileges!
10. Turn the effin TV off before calling!
11. If you're the misrable type of horney shithead who likes to do nothing but compalin no matter what then before calling, just fuck off and leave me the hell alone!
12. And last but not least by a long mile, read the complete effin item BEFORE calling you effin numbnuts bastard!!
My Films 2009
01. How Green Was My Valley (TV, Walter Pidgeon, Maureen O'Hara, Roddy McDowall, Donald Crisp, '41) *
02. True Grit (TV, John Wayne, Kim Darby, Glen Campbell, '69) *
03. Kinky Boots (TV, Joel Edgerton, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Sarah-Jane Potts, '05)
04. The Dark Knight (Borrowed, Bale, Caine, Oldman, Heath Ledger!!!, '08 ) *
05. RocknRolla (Borrowed, Gerard Butler, Thandie Newton, Tom Wilkinson, '0 8 )
06. Pride and Glory (dvd rental, Colin Farrell, Edward Norton, Jon Voight, '08 )
07. Body of Lies (dvd rental, Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe, Mark Strong, '08 )
08. Watchmen ([cinema: Tinseltown w/Matt, Jackie, Jen], '09)
09. Fort Apache (TV, John Wayne, Henry Fonda, Shirley Temple, '48 ) *
10. The Dam Busters (TV, Richard Todd, '55) *
11. Glory (TV, Denzil Washington, Morgan Freeman, Matthew Broderick, '89) *
12. Robocop (TV, Peter Weller, '87) *
13. Chopper (TV, Eric Bana, '00)
14. Slumdog Millionaire (dvd rental, '09)
15. Captain Blood (TV, Errol Flynn, Olivia de Havilland, '35)
16. Taken (dvd rental, Liam Neeson, '09)
17. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (dvd rental, Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, John Hannah, '08 )
18. Valkyrie (dvd rental, Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, Eddie Izzard, '08 )
19. Defiance (dvd rental, Daniel Craig, Jamie Bell, '08 )
20. The International (dvd rental, Clive Owen, '09)
21. The Devils Rejects (TV, Syd Haig, William Forsyth, '05) *
22. The Devils Brigade (TV, William Holden, Cliff Robertson, '68 )
23. Vera Cruz (TV, Burt Lancaster, Gary Cooper, '54)
24. The Horse Soldiers (TV, John Wayne, William Holden, '59 ) *
25. The Shooter (TV, Mark Wahlberg, '07) *
26. District 9 ([cinema: Tinseltown w/Matt], '09)
27. Inglorious Basterds ([cinema: Tinseltown w/Matt], Brad Pitt, '09)
28. Road to Perdition (TV, Tom Hanks, Jude Law, Paul Newman, '02) *
29. The Runaway Jury (TV, Gene Hackman, John Cusack, '03) *
30. Goodfellas (TV, De Niro, Liotta, Pesci, '90) *
31. Milk (dvd rental, Sean Penn, '08 ) 32. 12 Rounds (dvd rental, John Cena, '09)
33. 300 (TV, Gerard Butler, '06) *
34. The Boondock Saints (TV rental, Willem Dafoe, Billy Connoly, '99)
35. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (dvd rental, Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, '09)
36. The Ugly Truth (dvd rental, Gerard Butler, '09)
37. GI Joe (dvd rental, '09)
38. The Taking of Pelham 123 (dvd rental, John Travolta, Denzel Washington, '09)
39. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (dvd rental, Hugh Jackman, '09)
40. The Crew (TV, '08 )
41. T4 (dvd rental, Christian Bale, '09)
42. Public Enemies (dvd rental, Johnny Depp, '09)
43. Sherlock Holmes ([cinema: Tinseltown w/Pauline, Suzanne], R.Downey Jr, Jude Law, Mark Strong, '09)
44. Cars (Ani, Borrowed, '06)
45. 9 (Ani, dvd rental, '09)
Borrowed: 3, TV: 20, dvd rental: 18, Cinema: 4, Animated: 2
Ranking:
The Top Ten Group.......
01. Kinky Boots
02. District 9
03. Sherlock Holmes
04. The International
05. The Taking of Pelham 123
06. Milk
07. X-Men Origins: Wolverine
08. Public Enemies
09. Valkyrie
10. Taken
...and the rest.......
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Defiance
RocknRolla
Slumdog Millionaire
T4
Watchmen
Pride and Glory
12 Rounds
The Crew
Cars
The Devils Brigade
Inglorious Basterds
Body of Lies
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
9
Captain Blood
Vera Cruz
...Movies I've Seen previously (no ranking).......
How Green Was My Valley
True Grit
The Dark Knight
Fort Apache
The Dam Busters
Glory
Robocop
The Devils Rejects
The Horse Soldiers
The Shooter
Road to Perdition
The Runaway Jury
Goodfellas
300
The Utter Garbage Section.......
GI Joe
The Boondock Saints
Chopper
The Ugly Truth
The sheer stupidity of some people continues to shock, amaze and baffle me!
For example: the silly effin cunt who called me yesterday. She had to get off the phone because she was dealing with a patient. Please?!?!?! Are you effin serious? Or, more likely, an effin lying SOB.
And if she's not lying ... what about the poor patient? If that were me I'd slap her silly .... well, more silly than she already is!
PEOPLE!!!!
My Films 2010
01. Avatar ([cinema: Tinseltown w/Matt, Jackie], Sigourney Weaver, '09)
02. The Perfect Getaway (dvd rental, '09)
03. Felon (TV, Stephen Dorff, Val Kilmer, Sam Shepard, '09)
04. Homeland Security (TV, Scott Glenn, '04)
05. Gladiator * (TV, Russell Crowe, '00)
06. The Hurt Locker (dvd rental, Jeremy Renner, '09)
07. 50 Dead Men Walking (dvd rental, Ben Kingsley, '09)
08. Law Abiding Citizen (dvd rental, Jamie Foxx, Gerard Butler, '09)
09. Precious (dvd rental, Gabourey Sidibe, Mo'Nique, '09)
10. Smokin Aces II: Assasins Ball (dvd rental, Tom Berenger, Vinnie Jones, '10)
11. The Prestige (TV, Hugh Jackman, Michael Caine, Christian Bale, '06)
12. The Blindside (dvd rental, Sandra Bullock, '09)
13. Shotgun Stories (TV, '07)
14. Last Hangman (TV, Timothy Spall, '05)
15. Southern Comfort* (TV, Keith Carradine, Powers Boothe, Fred Ward, Peter Coyote, '81)
16. Hard Candy (TV, Patrick Wilson, Ellen Page, '05)
17. Apache (TV, Burt Lancaster, Charles Bronson, '54)
18. The Last of the Mohicans * (TV, Daniel Day-Lewis, Madeleine Stowe, Wes Studi, '92)
19. Chalk (TV, '06)
20. The Sentinel (TV, Kiefer Sutherland, Michael Douglas, '06)
21. Robin Hood ([cinema: Tinseltown w/Matt, Jackie], Russell Crowe, Mark Strong, Cate Blanchett, '10)
22. Hitman (TV, Timothy Olyphant, '07)
23. Edge of Darkness (dvd rental, Mel Gibson, Ray Winstone, '10)
24. The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (TV, Tommy Lee Jones, '05)
25. Hardwired (TV, Cuba Gooding Jr, Val Kilmer, Michael Ironside, '09)
26. Fido (TV, Billy Connolly, '06)
27. Bridge on the River Kwai (TV, Alec Guinness, William Holden, '57)
28. Magnum Force * (TV, CLint Eastwood, '74)
29. The Road (dvd rental, Viggo Mortensen, '09)
30. Book of Eli (dvd rental, Denzil Washington, Gary Oldman, '10)
31. Green Zone (dvd rental, Matt Damon, '10)
32. From Paris With Love (dvd rental, John Travolta, '10)
33. Salt ([cinema: Tinseltown w/Jen, Dan], Angelina Jolie, '10)
34. The Expendables ([cinema: Tinseltown w/Jen, Suzanne], Stallone, Statham etc, '10)
35. The Last House on the Left (Borrowed, '09)
36. Heaven (TV, Cate Blanchett, Giovanni Ribisi, '02)
37. The Town ([cinema: Tinseltown w/Jen], Ben Afleck, Jon Hamm, Jeremy Renner, '10)
38. The Kingdom * (TV, Jamie Foxx, Chris Wilson, Jennifer Garner, '07)
39. The Eagle Has Landed * (Borrowed, Michael Caine, Donald Sutherland, Robert Duvall, '76)
40. Invictus (dvd rental, Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon, '09)
41. Avatar * (dvd rental, Sigourney Weaver, '09)
42. Harry Brown (dvd rental, Michael Caine, '09)
43. Brooklyn's Finest (dvd rental, Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke, Wesley Snipes, '09)
44. Kick-Ass (dvd rental, Mark Strong, Nicholas Cage, '10)
45. Jonah Hex (dvd rental, John Malkovich, Josh Brolin, '10)
46. The War Wagon * (TV, John Wayne, Kirk Douglas, '67)
47. Red Riding: 1974 (TV, Sean Bean, '09)
48. Knight and Day (dvd rental, Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, '10)
49. Before the Devil Knows Your Dead (TV, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke, Albert Finney, Marisa Tomei, '07)
50. Babylon AD (TV, Vin Diesel, Mark Strong, '09)
51. The Town * (dvd rental, Ben Afleck, Jon Hamm, Jeremy Renner, '10)
52. True Grit ([cinema: Tinseltown w/Matt], Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, '10)
53. Despicable Me (A-dvd rental, '10)
54. Toy Story 3 (A-Borrowed, '10)
55. Valhalla Rising (dvd rental, '09)
56. Shine a Light (TV, The Rolling Stones, '09)
Source: Borrowed: 3, TV: 25, dvd rental: 22, Cinema: 6
Ranking:
The Top Ten Group.......
01. Kick-Ass
02. Salt
03. The Town
04. 50 Dead Men Walking
05. Avatar
06. The Hurt Locker
07. Harry Brown
08. Toy Story 3
09. Despicable Me
10. Felon
...and the rest.......
The Blindside
Invictus
The Perfect Getaway
Edge of Darkness
Heaven
Robin Hood
The Last House on the Left
Bridge on the River Kwai
The Sentinel
Shine a Light
Green Zone
From Paris With Love
True Grit
Hitman
Before the Devil Knows Your Dead
Brooklyn's Finest
Last Hangman
Precious
Book of Eli
The Expendables
Law Abiding Citizen
The Road
Knight and Day
Hard Candy
Shotgun Stories
Babylon AD
Red Riding: 1974
Fido
Apache
Chalk
Homeland Security
The Prestige
...Movies I've Seen previously (no ranking).......
Gladiator
Southern Comfort
The Last of the Mohicans
Magnum Force
The Kingdom
The Eagle Has Landed
Avatar
The War Wagon
The Town
The Utter Garbage Section.......
The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada
Hardwired
Smokin Aces II: Assasins Ball
Jonah Hex
Valhalla Rising
The Playboy Club: not quite my cup of tea but I'm still watching it .... the developing storylines in the background are decent enough. The music is good too.
Unforgettable: Disagree, it is totally forgettable.
Prime Suspect: Like it! (Like her too!)
PanAm: Haven't watched it, no intention of.
Charleys Angels: seriously?
X-Factor: Ah! Simon!!! I'm watching it and I like it! (Not to sure about the boot-camp round though, didn't find that very enjoyable viewing.)
Revenge: love it!
Person of Interest: no interest at all. Not watching it. Plus, don't like lead actor.
Terra Nova: Haven't watched it.
NINETEEN SEVENTY-SEVEN by David Peace
Stopped reading after a few pages. Utter garbage! I had previously read the 1974 book and in my humble opinion that was pure sensationalism for the sake of it. I have no problem with violence, language etc., etc but '74 was extreme but on top of that it just made no sense .... this book ('77) seemed to be pretty much the same. Maybe I'm thick but I couldn't follow it (not fluently that is .... I understood it but I had to keep stopping and starting to make sure I was following it). Also, the characters are just out and out bastards, no sympathy whatsoever for any character. If that were "life" literally they'd be drunk, foul-mouthed, incompetent arseholes all the time (which might have been the point) but for me it was horrible reading. No more David Peace for me .... ever.
THE SHOTGUN RULE by Charlie Huston
Another highly enjoyable book by this author. This book got off to a relatively slow start but the characters were superb (both the good and the bad) and the ending was SUPERB! Well done Charlie!!
HARD RAIN by Barry Eisler
Love the main character in this series. All the long Japanese names (people & places) are annoying but other than that a rather enjoyable read.
A DRINK BEFORE THE WAR by Dennis Lehane
Wow! A great opening book in this new (for me) series. Two great lead characters, superb tension and action, additional characters (both good and bad alike) were good too. Cracking storyline, very enjoyable ... will definitely read this series!
TRANSFER OF POWER by Vince Flynn
I'm still surprised that I actually find this series readable but I do indeed find it a very easy read indeed! Great characters .... storylines are good (a stretch in any kind of realistic sense but, hey, it's fiction)! Although set in a political world it's hardly about politics (other than the setting and the surrounding fluff that goes on) .... and Mitch Rapp is definitely the hero we all need .... both in this series and in the real world!
VOODOO RIVER by Robert Crais
Another enjoyable book by Mr Crais! (Introducing his future wife perhaps?? We'll see!) Definitely intend to read the entire series ... give me more, give me more Mr Crais!
SUNSET EXPRESS by Robert Crais
Okay, despite what I said above ... this one wasn't quite so good. The storyline was a bit tedious and, well, silly. Still .... great characters, plus the scary Joe Pike!
PANIC by Jeff Abbott
As The Mrs would say: "
crash, bang, wallop" .... she usually means that in a movie sense, but this book could be described that way!! Non-stop, ducking and a diving, twists and turns. Damn good read! First time for this author for me, can't wait for the next one!
BACK SPIN by Harlan Coben
Harlan Cobens books are a stretch. By that I mean the storylines are in his head (or more to the point in Myron's head) until he tells you near the end. You can't predict the ending (okay, I can't predict the ending) but getting there is usually an enjoyable read .... helped along by his sidekick Win. That said, this particular storyline was even more of a stretch and less enjoyable as a result but still a good read.
ONE FALSE MOVE by Harlan Coben
As above but a but a better storyline. Slightly better I should say.
STORMBREAKER by Anthony Horowitz
Okay, intended for 'young adults', I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. Totally preposterous and far-fetched but given it's "intended audience" who am I to complain? And complain I wouldn't anyway .... I can see why it's been so successful! Can't wait to read the second in the series! By the way, I'm adult but not young!
EVEN MONEY by Dick Francis & Felix Francis
Well, to sum up .... very disappointed. The storyline was, at least by "Francis" standards, very dull indeed. Even the lead character (usually strong and likeable) was not either in this case.
Beer ... 
Stella: 161
Heineken: 120
Dos Equis: 12
Murphys: 8
Bass Ale: 6
Leffe: 6
Fosters: 6
Bud: 6
Old Speckled Hen: 4
Killians: 4
Miller: 3
Boddies: 2
Tetley: 2
Stone IPA: 1
Warsteiner: 1
Killians: 1
(Lagunitas) IPA: 2
(Heavy Seas) Small Craft Warning: 1
(Flying Dog) Flying Bitch IPA: 1
(Dogfish Head) The Continually-Hopped IPA: 1
(Sierra Nevada) Torpedo Extra IPA: 1 Philosphers: 2
Weyerbacher: Blithering Idiot: 1
Sierra Nevada: Bigfoot Ale: 1
Strongbow (Cider): 1
Plus four sample beers: 7
and
Wino: 8
The worst possible combination?
....a moron from New York, who originated form south of the border (probably illegally), who can't read and is late calling and doesn't have any (legal) means of paying and his equally thick-headed spouse has just popped out.
....a Chinaman from Canada, eh? Who can read but can't talk English. End of.
....a toothless old hag from the mountains who can't read, can't talk, has no means to pay and is convinced the world is out to get them. (The latter possibly being a true statement.)
....a smart, educated, well-read gentleman who INSISTS INSISTS INSISTS that he is right and acts like a proper arsehole when you point out the error of their ways.
2nd 'alf of 2010 (total for the year in parenthesis)............. Stella: 178 (275) ..... loverly Stella!
Heineken: 97 (109) ..... good old Heiny-Ken!
(Bass Ale: 30)
(Spaten Premium: 21)
(Dortmunder: 21)
Bud Light: 16 .... really?
Fosters: 12 .... g'day mate!
Geisen Amber: 8.... nice!
(Rolling Rock: 
Boddies: 7 (9)
Busch: 6
Killians: 5 (11)
Tetley's: 4
Miller: 4 (5)
Peroni: 1
Stone IPA: 1 (2) .... shit!
Wino: 8 (16)
TERM LIMITS by Vince Flynn
Second book I've read by Flynn .... love it!! Even though it's set in a very political setting, his reads (thus far at least) are exceptional. The characters are good, the action is good .... a good, quick easy but highly enterttaining read.
RAIN FALL by Barry Eisler
New author for me ... not too bad. Lead character is decent, worth continuing the series.
TROPHY HUNT by C. J. Box
Another good read by Box, but the story was weak me thinks. The characters are good (especially the lead and his family).
DEAD MANS DUST by Vince Flynn
New author .... from what was a simple beginning, it became heavily entwined with a serial killer and his clash too with the lead character, his brother, FBI etc. Basically a stretch for a storyline .... however, a good read. Will read his next.
SHADOW PREY by John Sandford
Oh, my god .... incredibly boring. Sigh of relief when I got to the last page.
RISING PHOENIX by Kyle Mills
I've never read a book where the "lead chacter' (the hero?) was so less involved or so less-enduring as in this story. Incredibly stupid storyline.
THE WINTER OF FRANKIE MACHINE by Don Winslow
One word: BRILLIANT!!! Absolutely superb ending!!
THE TEETH OF THE TIGER by Tom Clancy
One word: B-O-R-I-N-G. Nice to "get back" at the bad guys in this method but it seems dated .... like it isn't happening already in some fashion? If not in real life, it should but for the story itself .... boring.
THE DECEIVED by Brett Battles
Second by this author/series. Better than the first one. Good read.
FREE FALL by Robert Crais
Very good read, love the two main characters. Funny, exciting, sad, violent, action, good story .... all one needs for a very good read. Keep it up Crais!!
Word to the wise (or not so in this case) .... if you see "toll free" number. that does NOT mean that what you're calling for is free .... simply that the call itself is free.
There really are stupid people out there.
And to Mrs DAFT that I talked to the other day .... aptly named.
Customer today attempted to spell a code over the phone today. The code was "NQ".
He said "N as in nice, Q as in cute..."
Really? Are you that fucking stupid?
To Ambrose and Quincy (ye of spam misfortune), just fuck off and die.
(Half-yearly update...)
Stella Artois: 39
Heineken: 21
Miller: 7Bass Ale: 6
Black n Tan: 2
Rolling Rock: 2
and, shiver me timbers....
Bud: 6
and from the street:
Wino: 12
THE BLUE ZONE by Andrew Gross
For what was a potentially exciting concept for a storyline, it became very complicated and unnecessarily tedious. By the time it became apparent wtf was going on I didn't really care.
Based on this I would not read anymore of his books.
WINTERKILL by CJ Box
Another very good read by an exceptional author. Sad ending.
(The only downside was the ludicrous character with the dog .... realistic? Not so sure.)
NINETEEN SEVENTY-FOUR by David Peace
For atmosphere, a description of the time (place, music, detail) this was exceptional. Maybe it's just me but I found this hard to follow .... exactly who was doing what to who. It wrapped it up at the end but it's complicated plot line was a tad annoying.)
FADE AWAY by Harlan Coben
Another funny, entertaining story by this author. Love the main characters.
GOOD PEOPLE by Marcus Sakey
Very good!! Very entertaining writer ... probably his best so far of the three.
THE TWO MINUTE RULE by Robert Crais
The first non-Elvis Cole book I've read by this author. Loved it! Very good book. Nice ending too.
HUNTING DOWN AMANDA by Andrew Klavan
I find this author so fucking frustrating. It didn't help that it probably took at least two years to read this book! (No, I'm not that slow at reading, it just took that long although the author can take some of the blame too). His characters, his action and the excitement he can create are amazing. But his style of writing just annoys the crap out of me. And the ending to this book -- especially after all that time -- just pissed the hell out of me. You killed the guy off after all he did for that woman and child? Please?! WTF!! Will not read anymore of his books.
THE THIRD OPTION by Vince Flynn
My first read of this author. Loved it! For a political thriller type of book it was actually quite a good cracking yarn. Didn't realise it was the 3rd (?) in the series .... I'll definitely read the back from the beginning. Very impressed!
DEADLOCK by Robert Liparulo
Loved it!!!!!!
A WEE SCOTTISH TALE
A golfer is cupping his hand to scoop water from a highland burn that runs through a golf course when the greenkeeper shouts "Dinnae drink tha waater! Et's foo ae shite an pish!"
The golfer replies "My good fellow, I'm from England. Could you repeat that for me, in English?"
The keeper replied "I said, use both hands - you'll spill less that way"
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
***
Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?'
***
The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'
***
Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "
***
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ....'
Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person
who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's license's of bald men?
15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What
are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while
they deliver the mail?
17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those
little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE.
20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?
21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that one
enjoys it?
To the wanker with the knock off Vuitton bags, fuck off and go play somewhere else you effin cunt of a moron.
My wife sat down on the settee next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
****************************************************
My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we
were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....
*****************************************************
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and
slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing
50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and
discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
*****************************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah,
well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my
car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And then the fight started.....
*******************************************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started...
******************************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left
my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing
my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
****************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'
'Wow!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating
that long?'
And then the fight started...
***************************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my
order first. "I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
*****************************************************
A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not
happy with what she saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3.. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would
result in Linoleum Blown-a-part.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
14. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
15. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
16. A backward poet writes inverse.
17. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
18. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
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